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  • Writer's pictureLeila Gillette

Why Military Spouse Friendships are So Damn Special

I have talked a lot in previous posts about how hard it can be making friends as adults. ESPECIALLY when you are a military spouse.

If you're struggling with this I have previous posts with tips on how to meet new friends as adults/mil spouses. I know it's hard and I know it can feel lonely at times.

I don't want others to feel discouraged if they have yet to form these friendships. It isn't something that is necessarily going to happen right away or happen at every duty station. But with time, a little effort and often a lot of luck, you may be able to meet some people that make this crazy lifestyle a little bit more fun and a lot less lonely.

What makes military friendships so special?

When I think about how much I cherish the friends I've made along the way during my husbands military career, I wanted to share some reasons these friendships are so important. Maybe this will encourage other spouses to open themselves up to friendship, because regardless of how independent we are or how old we get, having people in this life to laugh with and lean on is a very special thing.

Obviously number one is deployments. I honestly wouldn't have survived many deployments with a healthy mental state had it not been for the support and friends around me. I've had friends bring me dinner when they knew I was totally overwhelmed. Had friends walk my dogs because they knew my husband usually did it. Had friends care for me and my children while I gave birth to a new baby while my husband was deployed. It's incredible looking back on these times and realizing how many people cared for our family like their own.

Military spouses are often put in a position where they have no nearby family help/support. This means that you tend to lean on other spouses for a lot of support. Friends who will take your kids to school for you. Cheer on your daughter at her soccer game with you. Bring you food after giving birth.

These people become like family. They became a source of support, comfort, love and dependability that can be so damn hard to have in the military world.

If you are struggling with a lack of friendships/support just know that sometimes it takes time to meet "your people". You also have to make sure you aren't closing yourself off to others. Be the person to reach out to someone who needs help. To lend support to a deployed spouse. The smallest gesture can lead to a really special friendship.

I am incredibly grateful for the military spouses who started out as acquaintances, turned into friends, and became family. I really hope every military spouse gets to experience this type of friendship at some point during their military journey.

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